Stuff Happens

*Do not attempt to eat while reading this.*

Although I was not present for what I am to describe, I'm pretty sure this is how it all went Down.  I did get permission from my son before writing this post.  He was all for it and has been sharing freely.

The setting:  A hot 105 degree evening around 7 pm.  Football practice in Las Vegas.

Leighton tells his dad he needs to go to the bathroom.   His dad tells him to hold it because this has been his pattern every practice.  Coaches seem to think Leighton is using the bathroom as a "water break."  A couple minutes later, Leighton insists he really has to go.  Dad requests him to pee on a tree. After breaking the law (peeing on a tree in a public place), Leighton tells him he is going to poop his pants.  Finally, he is sent to the bathroom.   Fortunately (not near his peers) but unfortunately (in front of the team moms), he can't hold it any longer and stops dead in his tracks and goes #2!  Some moms are freaking out while others jump into action.  One helps guide him to the bathroom while the other heads for water bottles and shouts for another to get him some shorts.  Eric is summoned as well.  The mom that went above and beyond, Cindy, is a junior high p.e. teacher and mother of two boys.  She assured Leighton that "this happens to the best of us."  Meanwhile, Cindy's dog Pepper (bless her heart) is helping herself to the pile of "stuff" on the grass.  Once Cindy realizes this, she grabs her water cooler and starts dousing Pepper.  Pepper is licking off the water cooler and getting all the residue on the cooler.  I know, gross, gross, gross.  

Forward to 8 pm, end of football practice, Cindy's husband is very thirsty after coaching  for 2 1/2 hours.  He proceeds to pick up "the" water cooler and drink from it.  Cindy catches him before he comes in contact with it.  "Do not drink from that!"  He asks her, "Did someone pee on it?" She nods her head no.  "Did someone spit on it?  She nods her head no.  "Did a dog poop on it?"  She nods her head no.  "I will just tell you in the car."  She didn't want to embarrass Leighton by telling her sons right there in front of everyone.  So kind.

Back to Pepper.  She came to the football practice in Cindy's Nissan Cube which is an enclosed car.  The whole family had to ride home with Pepper in their personal space, trying to avoid contact with her.  What a series of unfortunate events!

When Eric arrived home from practice, he was beside himself (I'll spare you the details).  New rules - no dinner before practice and if Leighton says he has to go, let him go.

We picked up a new water cooler for Cindy and she insisted it wasn't necessary.  But really, it was the least we could do.

News travels...one of the helpful mom's works as an orthopedic nurse and was retelling this story at work.  "Did you say Bateman boy?"  An orthopedic rep asks.  "I love those boys!"  It was Marshall Young who used to be in our ward and our neighbor.

And while I'm at it, Leighton was wearing this self-made mask while answering the door the other day and...

opened the door right over his big toe.  He said the mask got in the way.  He didn't shed a tear and will be losing that toe nail in the near future.  Tough kid physically and emotionally.  Getting the nick name "Johnny Crapper" (from his brother and teammates) hasn't seemed to affect him.  He can laugh at himself which is always the best medicine.